No one gives a damn about your offer unless they are already interested in what it is you have to offer.
They need to desire what you want.
Awareness - I have a cold.
Interest - Iet me Google how to get rid of my cold.
Desire - I want to buy some cold and flu capsules, which one's should I buy?
Action - let's buy these mofo's.
So when someone reaches your offer page, your proposal, your pitch, they are already at the Interest or Desire stage. Maybe they found you themselves, maybe you prospected them and developed some awareness and interest.
So at this stage, considering your prospect is already interested in you, keep the pitch simple:
This is what I can do for you...[value]
This is why you need me...[loss of value / missing out]
This is how I'll do it...[outline method]
Here are some testimonials to socially prove I've done it before...[if X bought he must be good]
Here are some finer details...[show what you know]
Go forth and offer my friends!