When you meet someone, they often make a judgement about you in seconds. They spend the rest of the conversation fooled by confirmation bias, finding bits here and there to reinforce their judgement.
You do it too. And so do I. It takes a really skilled human to understand they are judging you and then to remove the judgement.
With practice, you can do it. The first step is acknowledgement.
Of course, this has implications for when you meet someone. Like a job interview. Or a business pitch.
And you thought your skills mattered most!
People subconsciously care about 2 things when they meet you:
Translated: How warm are you? How competent are you?
Of these two, by far the most important factor is trust.
Why? Evolution. Thousands of years ago, only the paranoid survived. Figuring out if you might kill me is far more important than knowing if you’ve got shelter building skills.
So, when in a meeting, pitch or interview - trust trumps competence.
With trust, your skills are a strong suit, and you can put them on the table.
Without trust, your skills are threatening. Nobody likes to be threatened.
And how do we build trust?
By being present. By being passionate, enthusiastic, authentic, confident and captivating.
Remember, trust precedes competence when winning someone over in a meeting, pitch or interview.
Want to learn more? Check out the fantastic TED video by Amy Cuddy on Power Poses.